Tuesday, July 23, 2019

“Picard” Trailer – Captain’s Fashions

Those of you who have been with us for a while may know that, while we know and love all of the Stars Trek, our deep passion is for TNG. There are a lot of reasons why this is so, ranging from the clothes in TNG have a different level of pure-bonks than any of other series, to the fact that WE WERE RAISED ON THIS AND WE JUST LOVE IT.

So even as the franchise has been getting revived in different ways, while these new iterations were exciting, they weren’t quite hitting our sweet spot (well, I don’t want to speak for Anna, they weren’t hitting my sweet spot). 

That changed this weekend.

Damn right that’s a prime teaser, f*ck.

Trailers are actually kind of hard to examine fashions through, because there’s so much footage and its hard to get a good screengrab of things, so I’ve limited myself to taking a close look at the fashion that really matters: the Picardwear.

Spoiler alert: the watchword for this series is “practical comfort.” Okay, I don’t actually know how any of these costumes fit or feel, but considering the troubled past between Starfleet Uniforms and Patrick Stewart’s spine, I think we can all agree he’s earned some casual wear.

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Heathered fabric for a Heathers-like shot

I’m actually a little ashamed to admit that I assumed that this was Data and then heard rumblings on the internet that it might be some other Noonian creation? I immediately looked away to avoid spoilers. But the real attraction here is this sophisticated looking blazer (I’m assuming its a blazer from the shoulders, but really, anything could be happening on the front of that thing). The fabric looks warm and welcoming, perfect for being comfy during those French vineyard winters, when the vines are leafless and the fog sits low in the orchard. Take special note of that collar, because, friends, we have a recurring theme.

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Everyday Essentials by Starfleet

This I suppose isn’t that exciting, and in some ways the fit reminds me a bit of TOS-era clothing. That being said, I’m definitely getting season-7 Captain-isn’t-gonna-wear-no-red-no-more casual vibes. On the other hand, is that… a mock turtle?!

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From the Under His Eye collection for Men

I’m sure it must just be a thing in future-fashion at the moment that costume designers believe that in the future all colors will be from the Crayola Bold Box, but this is actually a nice, cozy-looking burgundy sweater (to go with your glass of Bordeaux, way-oh!). Unfortunately we don’t get a head-on look at the garment, but whatever is happening in that ribbed collar region is intriguing and I have time for it. Is there a potential for a sexy partial unbuttoning?

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Category is: Indiana Jones Grampa

I mean, slap a beat-up fedora on his head and hand him a whip and some sensible walking shoes, AMIRITE? We should all aspire to jobs where we can dress like this in our seventies.

Also this feels like as good a time as any to think about the circular nature of fashion, both how “late 20th/early 21st century fashions” are coming back into vogue in the Trek-verse, but also the idea that (maybe?) these costume designers feel the need to throw contemporary looks into futuristic stories. Are they worried the kids won’t be able to relate? Because I have definitely seen that sweater at Costco.

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Desert-wandering is always business casual

Difficult to make out much here, but thank god he’s undone the top button. Also here’s hoping they’ve figured out sun-skin protection in the 24th century, because that dude is gonna have one rosy scalp otherwise.

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Stick a top hat on him and hand him a walking stick, and he could be a friendly narrator for A Christmas Carol or Oliver Twist

But maybe that’s more a function of Sir Patrick’s unstoppable Englishness. Anyway, this looks like the perfect thing to wear to get plastered at a hotel bar. The brickwork behind him makes me think we might still be in rural France, but those shoulderpads say business. Really solid shirt color choice (literally and figuratively).

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Go Bold™, the new line of men’s adventure gear from Banana Republic

I actually really like this look—it’s my second-favorite of the trailer!—the divide between top and bottom on the jacket gives a soupçon of that TNG uniform vibe, while the asymmetrical collar says “It’s the future we do not give a f*ck.” That backpack could be saying “I’m about to trek through the jungle for a Louis Vuitton photoshoot” but it could also be “could I get my cappuccino with oat milk and the WiFi password?” I still have the Indiana Jones theme song stuck in my head, and now so do you. You’re welcome!

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Yes, kids, I’ve been spending a lot of time with a woman called Indigo and we had the most wonderful weekend in Taos. I’m not trying to replace your mother, but Indigo makes me very happy.

This is the look that I’m living for. That comfy statement swear, complete with buttons that are almost never actually buttoned, but is still lightly quilted to keep off the chill. And while it fits into the muted rainbow of the future-fashion moment, it has a playful quality to it, which, I guess if I think about it, is what makes the TNG fashions the funnest to write about.

Okay, that’s it for now. But, with rumors being confirmed daily that other TNG friends are returning, I know that I, for one, am *very* excited.

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I don’t know about Data but this really got my emotions chip fired up.



* This article was originally published here

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