I could have sworn we did this ep, like, a WHILE ago, but I think I was just remembering the cake from my childhood viewing of the series because that cake is not an image you get out of your head. You’ll see.
There’s not a ton of fashion in this episode, but there is some truly bananas shit. The episode opens with SPOOKY-ASS MUSIC and Data seeing what look like some miners busting a hole in the wall of the Enterprise:
When you have an emotional breakthrough but you realize you literally punched a hole in your wall
The miners or whatever are dressed in some mid-to-late 1800s looks, and have some truly incredible layering going on:
These outfits have everything: overalls, vests, vests over overalls, suspenders under overalls, neckerchiefs
I’m pretty sure that dude on the right is wearing overalls AND suspenders AND a belt?? Maybe it’s a tool belt, but like…the whole thing with overalls is that they go…over…all. I also enjoy the fedora as a work hat, because it does absolutely nothing to protect one’s head (but does give the wearer the belief that they look like Indiana Jones even though they don’t). Let’s also note that the middle guy is just straight-up wearing a flood lamp on his head.
The workers end up attacking Data and pulling off his head:
It’s not fair / to remind me / of the cross-eyed head that you gave to me / you, you, you / Data’s head
You can see here that Fedora Worker is wearing suspenders OVER his vest, which…that’s not how suspenders are MEANT to be worn, but if that’s how you want to roll, I’m not going to stop you. Layer everything. Wear a hat as a necklace. Fashion “rules” were established by a patriarchal society and are meant to keep us in our places and stifle our creativity and if wearing suspenders over a vest makes you feel revolutionary, YOU DO YOU.
After we see Data’s head get ripped off, though, it turns out it was all a dream:
I really wanted to see Data’s PJs, but this does make sense
Is Data taking a Mondrian-inspired painting class? That work next to his bed (which is where I keep all MY unfinished paintings) looks like it’s in progress rather than a part of his decor.
The main thrust of this episode is that Data is having weird dreams and that the Enterprise is installing a new warp core, so we spend a bit of time in Engineering, where we meet this adorable ensign:
When your hair needs to be pulled back for OSHA reasons but you’ve still got style
She’s real cute, has picked a GREAT lip color to complement her Engineering Mustard, and she has a major crush on Geordi. Literally nothing comes of the fact that she’s crushing on Geordi, so I think the writers just threw that detail in there to be nice.
Data is trying to figure out what’s up with his weird dreams, so he researches the best way he knows how:
Even on a spaceship, cats take up as much space as possible
Spot is having a nap, and Data is watching her sleep to see if he can figure anything out.
Streeeeetch
He doesn’t figure anything out, but I love Spot so it’s fine. Instead, he sees Troi for a quick therapy sesh and her season 7 hair is doing it up:
This hair goes to 11
They talk a little bit about dream interpretation, and then we get to see Data sleep some more.
THRILL as Data TAKES A NAP
This dream is where the bonkers cake shows up. This cake honestly doesn’t even look that good, but it still made me want some cake:
Cake to bridge: I’m delicious
Hmm, that’s odd. There’s a communicator badge on that cake. What could that possibly–
NOPE
One thing I will say for this cake is that it was made in a time before every fucking cake was, like, required by law to be covered in fucking fondant. FONDANT IS TRASH AND CAKES COVERED IN IT ARE ALSO TRASH. So on that level, I appreciate this cake for just having a sensible buttercream.
Other than that, this cake is a literal nightmare. In the dream, Data feels compelled to cut into Troi’s right shoulder with a serrated cake knife:
Delicious?
This will be important later. Also important: Worf says that the cake is “a cellular peptide cake…with mint frosting.” I don’t know about you guys, but I feel like mint is a weird choice for a cellular peptide cake. Maybe a cream cheese would have been better?
Oh, also in this dream, Crusher is sucking out Riker’s brains with a straw:
Curb_Your_Enthusiasm_Theme.mp3
This is probably a weird sex thing Riker would be into though. After this disturbing dream, Data decides to consult a dream expert:
Zis is ferry disturbink
Yes, that’s ol’ Siggy, the father of psychiatry and cocaine addict. Data visits him in the Holodeck. He’s wearing a pretty straightforward three-piece suit:
I think that cigar is just a cigar
The touch I like here is that shirt lapel. Look how long that thing is!! Old-timey as fuck.
After Data’s Freudian adventure, he’s helping Geordi fix something related to the warp core (which isn’t working at all) and he notices that this piece of the ship looks VERY similar to the cake knife:
I see you’ve played knifey-spooney before
Honestly, that thing looks so much like a weird Klingon knife that I feel like at some point Geordi asked Worf to fix something in the warp core and Worf accidentally broke something off and was like “oh shit” and just replaced it with a knife. That’s not very Worf-like, actually. A better story is that BARCLAY broke something accidentally and then stole the knife from Worf’s quarters and used it to MacGyver the engine. There. Better.
So Data thinks he’s awake, but then this happens:
Listen to your heart / when it’s calling for you
So that’s…weird.
It turns out Data’s dream program has gone pretty much haywire and he’s drifting into a dream state without realizing it and yadda yadda yadda, he stabs Troi in the shoulder…the right shoulder! From before!! When she was a cake!!!
Rude!!!!!
It’s not great that Troi got stabbed, BUT we do get a little extra fashion from her stay in sickbay:
Fashion Johnny
I’m kind of feeling this horizontal knit corduroy situation here. What I’m wondering is - how does that shoulder seam reattach? I don’t see snaps or buttons or velcro, so I’m forced to conclude that it is a magnet. I’m in the middle of making a shirt and I’m wondering if I could use magnets instead of buttons. ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT.
Data is worried that he will hurt Spot (aww) because of his dream hallucinations, so he asks Worf to cat-sit, leading to this delightful image:
“I will feed him.”
Let’s just see that from another angle, because it’s delightful.
He is a good cat and a pretty cat
Side note: @Spiggitzfan on Twitter made this adorable Data + Spot and then OMG THIS ACTUAL BABY KITTEN SAT ON IT AND I DIED.
😠😠😠😠😠😠ðŸ˜
At this point, Beverly figures out that the thing causing the issues on the ship are these interphasic creatures who eat cellular peptide (that’s what the dream cake was made out of!!!!), and you can only see them with this special light:
Later they shined this light in Riker’s quarters and it was like a Jackson Pollock piece
To fix the issue, the crew hooks Data’s brain up to the Holodeck so they can go into his dream. Sure. They see CakeTroi again:
How does her hair look so good even when she is a cake
I bet that black frosting was hard to create. Actually, that blue is so dark I bet that was tough, too. Let’s give it up for the art department.
Geordi and Picard tool around in Data’s dream for a while, and those miners from before come back:
Miner Catastrophe, the new line from Zara Man
I didn’t even notice that one guy’s mustard pants earlier. That is a bold pant choice that I respect.
Somehow the “going into Data’s dream” plan fixes everything, and all is back to normal. Spot is being a regular cat:
Cat toy technology has not changed
And Troi brings Data a cake of himself as a joke:
Black and mustard, the two most delicious-looking frosting colors
HAPPY THANKSGIVING, AMERICANS!!
* This article was originally published here
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